TRUE REPENTANCE

Its 1:15 am and I hear what I think is crying coming from my girls room, I go check on them and as I push open the door I am disappointed at what I find. Thankfully, my girls are not in distress, sadly though they are in disobedience, and the whole room has dolls, and scarves and bed sheets tied up and around it from the ceiling fan to the floor, they have been busy, but as creative as it was,  the reality is they have been disobedient.

Brenna my eldest starts to snicker and quickly grabs her lips and tries to mash them together to silence herself and to hide the smile she wears. I am saddened by her reaction, I call to them to get dressed and to come out to talk, and Brenna the whole time is fighting outright laughter. I asked them if they knew what time it was, they said no. I told them, and then I said, “Do you know that I put you to bed over four hours ago and by the looks of your room you’ve not been in bed at all.” I then asked them, “Do you know that you not only disobeyed me but you broke one of the Ten Commandments? The one that says Honor your Father and your Mother? And in doing so you have sinned and grieved Jesus. And do you know Jesus was grieved even before I had found out? And if I had never found out that HE would still know and be grieved and that you would have still sinned just in secret?” Then tears BIG tears began to well up in Brenna’s eyes, it was sinking in, I was getting through to her. “I told them that since they were so awake they were to take down all they put up and clean their room properly, and then I said, “while you are in there cleaning please think about what you did and make it right between you and Jesus, allow Him to talk to your heart, hear what He has to say about this and you, but more importantly apologize to your Lord for breaking His rules. Now go.”

Tears, thick heavy tears and repentance flowed from the place that laughter, haughtiness, and defiance once held firm. And, this got to me too, I began to think how ignorant we are when we grieve the Holy Spirit and break the heart of our Lord. How eager we are for our own agenda, how ready we are to say that WE KNOW the will of the Father for ourselves, and how reckless we are to say that God doesn’t really mind if we put our desire(s) before His own.

Out of her grief flowed my own, her heart broke, but mine poured out and a Spirit of Repentance was released upon our household in that moment, the Great I AM had shown up in all of His mightiness and forgave every trespass that we had made against Him willingly or unknowingly.

For the road of repentance leads to forgiveness, and forgiveness brings gratitude, and gratitude brings HIS Joy, and in HIS Joy we find strength (Neh. 8:10), the desire to choose righteousness and ultimately in this we are restored and HE is reigning within once again.

But, how quickly we are wounded and build up walls around our hearts when the Lord comes to correct, and instead of walking in a spirit of repentance we fortify our hearts to keep out the God that Loves and created us and we refuse to see the error of our ways (for fear) and then we refuse to hear the small nudging’s of love that He sends our way. We harden our hearts and we again in anger lash out at Him, blaming Him for feeling rejected as we reject His authority and put ourselves on the throne of our Hearts in mockery. How quickly sin gets in, how quickly that forbidden fruit tempts and ensnares our hearts, and then before we know it, WE are held hostage by our own rule, and poor judgments; we are reigning in our lives instead of HIM.

I’ve heard it said that revival begins with repentance and a turning of the heart towards the MAKER, the Bible even promises this, in 2 Chronicles 7:14 it states, If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

If we are too busy to hear HIS heart then we are too busy for HIS agenda and we have forfeited the Holiness of God for an evoked counterfeit emotion, our own pride. But what if we for a season reject our own agenda, what if we pull down the things that we have (like my girls) adorned our own rooms with, in obedience to HIM and united together under one umbrella and vowed to yield to Him even in the hardest places of our hearts, to pull closer to His heart, and to learn to beat as one body.

We are so quick to play favorites, and to prefer others over some, But James 2:8-11 warns us not play favorites with one another and takes it further to state “when we break one commandment we break them all, and become lawless in a way.” The Reality is that we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and we all need to be forgiven, no sin is greater than the other they all cut us off from HIM and truthfully the choice is yours, to repent and make Peace with HIM, to be restored, for HE loves you, His eye is on you, be restored to Him, the things that we wrestle Him about, it’s time to lay them down, let HIM win, He won’t disappoint, let us cast off our own agenda and our need to be right, for HIS sovereignty.

Now my dear reader, this is where I leave you, with a glimmer of hope, and the call to true repentance placed firmly upon your mind and within your hearts, put HIM back on the throne, let HIM reign, let HIM undo you and then transform you, draw near to HIM and HE will so faithfully draw nearer to you.

With Love,

Nichol

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