Ramblings on Love

My first valentines day with Steven, I snuck into his bedroom when he wasn’t home and hung curling ribbon, hearts, balloons & streamers from his ceiling. I stuck super hero valentines all over his walls and left a basket full of homemade chocolate chip cookies on his desk, I sat down on his bed and waited… When he came in there was the biggest smile on his face. He told me later that it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him, that nobody loved him the way I do. Fast forward to last night. I asked him what it was that made him pick me… Out of all the girls he knew why did he choose me? A girl from a store he knew nothing about… He told me, “Our paths just kept crossing, I ran out of reasons not too and I could keep fighting our destiny or embrace it. So I reached out for you and you did not disappoint. You smiled a lot, were happy and seemed to glow, I had to know what it was you had that I did not. And you were SO different… Some people say they go to church and love God, but they never talk and walk the walk. You did both. You were a weirdly religious “goodie goodie” and I had to know why you were who you were. So I pursued you and once you let your guard down, I fell in love with you…
Tons of people say they love God, they love Jesus. But you, you REALLY DID, I have never been to church before you, and when you brought me there my world was rocked, I was amazed that there were buildings FULL of people like you, people who LOVED Jesus as much as you did… It made me want to know Him too. I was curious and my desire to know you was somehow intertwined in my wanting to know Him, too. You were Christ first to me, I met Him because of you. You ARE the best thing that happened to me if for only that reason…”
Love is not an easy road, it is tumultuous, hard, and upsetting as much as it is passionate, caring and considerate. Love is NOT an emotional response, love is an ACT. When I met Steven I KNEW, it was he whom I would spend the rest of my life with. I saw the unlovely and I saw the beauty within him. I grabbed his hand and have never let go…. We have weathered many things, poverty, adversity, other people, ourselves. And no matter the whirlwind, we outlasted the storms together… His hand in mine, we’ve NEVER let go… And we never will… Because Christ is our Truest North and He steers the ship we built together. Christ is our rudder, our anchor, and our compass in this life. He IS our Polaris. He blazes away brightly in our hearts. We are never really lost even when we lose our way…. He forever lights our path…
Love says, I love you no matter the cost… And it has cost us… and it has hurt at times… Our love wasn’t the easiest love story there was, it tore us from all we knew, it took us headlong into the face of adversity, and into two graves… his and mine. Together we died to ourselves and we learned to live for each other. At times all we had was our covenant and promise to one another, we were bankrupt, emotionally and physically, but we dared to dig deep rather than scratch at the surface of who we were together and it has never disappointed me… Our love is not a fairytale, it is rocket fuel, that ignited two hearts long ago… binding and bonding us into one…
Love is an unending vow, a covenant, a bond that holds two hearts forever together. Love is not a holiday, flowers, or chocolates, or the heat of a moment… Love doesn’t quite, it doesn’t give up, it doesn’t let go. Love holds on, it sustains, it says even though… I am yours… Love is vulnerable and transparent.
Christ is our best example of love. For Christ, He bares the marks of love, Christ, He knew before the cross happened, that it was coming… He didn’t shrink away from Golgotha, rather He faced it head-on He stared it down, and for you, for we, He climbed that hill. He didn’t run, He didn’t give up… He didn’t say you are not enough… He didn’t say THIS sacrifice its too great, it comes with too much a cost… One that I am unwilling to bear… No beloved, rather He BORE it, He walked it out. He went to the very edge of the darkness that was trying to consume the world and He screamed Light into it, the very essence of who He is came echoing back from the darkness and it was done… Loves response to the cross was passionate act, it was His love for us… He climbed up on that splintered cross and embraced death, and in doing so He defeated death for us all… He embraced the mockery, the nails, the thorns and the suffocation of the world for our sakes, because He knew… He knew death could not keep Him in his crypt, He knew life would echo back to correct death and that from HIS tomb healing waters would break forth and flood the entire Earth…. He knew that love would find you, it would seek you out…
That from Him would be a glorious light, that resurrected He would be brought forth and shine forth in a greatness that would make darkness shutter and shake, that the whole Earth would groan for His coming.. For HIS righteousness. That on this Earth would be those that would hear of His restoration to the Father and they would LOVE Him for it… kinda like a girl in a convenient store who loved Him so much that she did not hide her lantern but rather let it shine for all of mankind to see… She knew His love wasn’t just for her sake but for others as well… She wasn’t great, she was simply faithful…
And that faithful love was seen by many in a dark world… and it pulled on the heart of that one boy who lived in the darkness who had to know…so he grabbed hold of her hand… and in finding her, he would find HIM… and they would truly learn to love and be changed…
Now Dear Reader I pray that you have a boldness to shine bright in a dull world, you would love loudly and passionately with unshakable faith in Him… And if you’re lost you would look up to your true north, let this love find you as it found us, not just on this day… But everyday…
Happy Valentines Day!
With Love,
Nichol

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s